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Pondering...
Mar. 25th, 2002 11:25 amI'm alone at work, no clients, no co-workers, no assignments.
This leaves me alone with my thoughts, which have been getting more and more complicated and convoluted as of late.
I feel like I need to get out of my folks' house soon, maybe even sooner than I can really afford to. I'm playing it cool right now, but I'm keeping my options open.
Things with Crys are... coming along, I think. We're still able to have the types of conversations my friend Anat calls D&M (Deep and Meaningful,) which is good. We just need to figure out how we feel about each other, and what we can do about it. I'm pretty sure I know how I feel, I think, most of the time, anyway. (Boy, could I be any more vague?) Mostly what I feel is conflicted, I guess. My heart says a whole bunch of things, and my head says a whole different bunch. I know that the thing we need most right now is time, and we'll end up alright. I'm just impatient about most things in life, I guess. I'm also a little nervous about tonight, since we'll be hanging out, and I plan on giving her the necklace that was supposed to be an anniversary present, but arrived too late. I love her, dearly, but I just don't know what I can do with it anymore, or if I should do anything at all. Part of my brain's been yelling "Run away!" for the past few days, but I could never do that, it'd be like cutting off a limb. I just... *sigh*
Work is... meh. I like my co-workers, they're a wonderful bunch of people, and all very... interesting. I've been given more responsibilities, and most of the clients are starting to open up to me. J actually asked how I was doing this morning. On the other hand, the pay's much less than I need in order to get my own place and/or save up for graduate school.
This leaves me alone with my thoughts, which have been getting more and more complicated and convoluted as of late.
I feel like I need to get out of my folks' house soon, maybe even sooner than I can really afford to. I'm playing it cool right now, but I'm keeping my options open.
Things with Crys are... coming along, I think. We're still able to have the types of conversations my friend Anat calls D&M (Deep and Meaningful,) which is good. We just need to figure out how we feel about each other, and what we can do about it. I'm pretty sure I know how I feel, I think, most of the time, anyway. (Boy, could I be any more vague?) Mostly what I feel is conflicted, I guess. My heart says a whole bunch of things, and my head says a whole different bunch. I know that the thing we need most right now is time, and we'll end up alright. I'm just impatient about most things in life, I guess. I'm also a little nervous about tonight, since we'll be hanging out, and I plan on giving her the necklace that was supposed to be an anniversary present, but arrived too late. I love her, dearly, but I just don't know what I can do with it anymore, or if I should do anything at all. Part of my brain's been yelling "Run away!" for the past few days, but I could never do that, it'd be like cutting off a limb. I just... *sigh*
Work is... meh. I like my co-workers, they're a wonderful bunch of people, and all very... interesting. I've been given more responsibilities, and most of the clients are starting to open up to me. J actually asked how I was doing this morning. On the other hand, the pay's much less than I need in order to get my own place and/or save up for graduate school.