Toaster is a racist term: Ari's review of the BSG finale

[arib]

I liked it.

Lots and lots.

Dean Stockwell was excellent as the Brothers Cavil, and I wish I hadn't been spoilered to his Cyloninity before the episode aired.

I'll be honest. I love Tyrol (the deck chief), and Cally's probably every BSG fan's secret crush, but she should *not* have forgiven him, much less shacked up with him down on New Caprica and popped a bun in the oven (more on New Caprica later). If someone hits you, you pack your bags and you go. Doesn't matter that they were having a night terror, doesn't matter if they didn't mean it, it doesn't matter that the human race is this close to extinction and everyone needs to start having babies. You pack your bags, and you go. Gaeta could use some lovin, anyway.

Sharon? Needs some grief counseling. Also needs to pick a side, already. As much of a shmuck as Cottle is, he's not one to go murdering babies, so she should believe him on that score. Never mind that he stole the baby and gave it up for adoption, that's not important. Nothing more to see here, move along. :-)

Helo- Dude's a rock. Just sayin'

Adm. Adama? Rocks like a rocking thing, but they really need to stop having Edward James Olmos grow/fake his big ol' Seventies Porn Star Moustache (tm) to indicate the passage of time. He loves him his Galactica like Kirk loved the Enterprise, but... heeeee... doesn'tneedtotalklikeShatnertogethispointacross!

Apollo- Glad he's in charge of Pegasus, but sweet Lords of Kobol he lets himself go in a big way during the gap. I'm interested in seeing how that works out. Also not sure about his relationship with Dee, but I'm willing to give it the benefit of the doubt.

Starbuck- c'mon Starbuck. We loves ya, honest. Kudos to you and the marines for saving the insurgents last remaining humans on Caprica, but why do you have to be so mean to Lee, huh?

Col Tigh- Saul, I never thought you had it in ya, honest. Rigging the elction for Laura? Gutsy and way out of left field. Also, you might want to talk to the Mrs about the current state of your non-monogamous relationship. I'm told communication's important for those sorts of things.

Roslin- Aw Laura, where'd you go wrong? You kept on relying on support from the religious right on the red ships, but didn't try to be moderate towards the liberals on the blue ships. They would've saved you the election, and you wouldn't have needed to cheat.

Baltar- That frakker! I mean, I'll at least assume that GWB means well, but keeps fucking it up. Gaius Baltar is actually dag-nasty-evil! And now he's president! I mean, Darth Vader should be his veep. Grah! Stupid Baltar selling out the stupid race twice! "Sorry about the nuclear holocaust that I inadvertantly caused because I was banging the (admittedly hot) Number Six, allowing the Cylons access to our defense mainframe. To make it up to you, I'll trade our nifty fleet of mobile spaceships in for a rickety tent city that looks like it's out in western Massachusetts on a planet that's got no DRADIS visibility, then when the Cylons show up. After I've spent a year developing my alcoholism and banging more hookers than a whole Resurrection Ship full of Bill Clintons*, I'll pull a 'vive le surrender!' faster than Vichy France." Stupid ponce's really frakked the daggit this time.

the whole "One Year Later" thing- This could either be utterly brilliant, or the worst thing ever. This completely kicked over the table in a way Alias' "What do you mean, it's been two years, everyone thinks Sydney's dead and Vaughn's married?!?!" never did. It was the quickest way to shake things up, and set up an interesting planetbound arc for the beginning of season three. At some point in the season, the Adamas will need to come back, scoop up the humans, and run for Earth, otherwise it's gonna turn into Galactica 1980 all over again, and we really don't want that at all. I liked how most of the extrapolations they made for the characters made good sense. Gaeta's always been friendly with Baltar, so having him as Baltar's Billy makes sense. Cally and Tyrol being together annoys me, but it seems to follow the line of reasoning they used before the jump. Tyrol's union-boss move dovetails nicely with his raising morale to build the old stealth ship at the midpoint of the season. Starbuck's behavior sorta makes sense, even if she never struck me as the "settling down" type. I can see her leading a rebellion against the toasters as soon as she's able. Saul's gracefully gone on to retirement, and we'll see how things go for him and Ellen. Laura's gone back to teaching, and it seems to suit her just as much as the presidency, which I hope she gets back to someday.

The Cylons? They've got lots of 'splaining to do...

I think that's it, let me know if I missed anything.

*Wow, I managed to insult two US presidents of opposing parties in one review of a fictional president of a fictional SF universe. Go, me!