My grandmother visited this past weekend... (and no, this isn't getting filtered at all. I feel like

I love my grandma, really I do.

Over Friday night dinner at my parents' house, she informs me that a friend and neighbor of hers has taken up matchmaking. "Not professionally, you understand, just so she has something to do." (I didn't realize a little old lady could be a professional meddler, will wonders never cease...)

My response to this was a brief but polite "Oh, how nice," before the conversation ultimately shifted to something else.

There was my first mistake. I should have just kept my foolish mouth shut. See, in grandma speak "oh, how nice" seems to translate to "fantastic, please do send my contact information off to some alter kaker* of a yenta** who doesn't know me from her elbow, post haste! While you're at it, please do tell her that it's perfectly alright to call me in the middle of the day while I'm in class."

and the message she left! She introduced herself as a friend of my grandmother's yadda yadda, and then came out with this little gem:

"I hear you're having trouble finding a bride..."

At which point I hung up the phone and cursed in horribly mispronounced Mandarin for a bit. (Thank you, Joss Whedon)

See, finding a bride isn't really the problem. Technically speaking, someone would only be my "bride" for a day at the most. It's the whole girlfriend-fiancee-wife thing that takes working on. In essence, the before and after, not the pomp and circumstance that occurs when someone is a hypothetical bride or groom.

Of course, grandma and her friends just luuuurve weddings, and would be happy if I scooped up the first JP that happened by so long as it guarantees them a large smorgasboard, open bar, and the possibility of taking home the centerpiece at the end of the evening. In which case "I hear you're having trouble finding a bride" makes perfect sense.

Okay, I think I'm done now.

*alter kaker- Yiddish equivalent of "old fart"

**yenta- busybody, often nosing into people's business. Think Joan Rivers.

My grandmother visited this past weekend... (and no, this isn't getting filtered at all. I feel like

I love my grandma, really I do.

Over Friday night dinner at my parents' house, she informs me that a friend and neighbor of hers has taken up matchmaking. "Not professionally, you understand, just so she has something to do." (I didn't realize a little old lady could be a professional meddler, will wonders never cease...)

My response to this was a brief but polite "Oh, how nice," before the conversation ultimately shifted to something else.

There was my first mistake. I should have just kept my foolish mouth shut. See, in grandma speak "oh, how nice" seems to translate to "fantastic, please do send my contact information off to some alter kaker* of a yenta** who doesn't know me from her elbow, post haste! While you're at it, please do tell her that it's perfectly alright to call me in the middle of the day while I'm in class."

and the message she left! She introduced herself as a friend of my grandmother's yadda yadda, and then came out with this little gem:

"I hear you're having trouble finding a bride..."

At which point I hung up the phone and cursed in horribly mispronounced Mandarin for a bit. (Thank you, Joss Whedon)

See, finding a bride isn't really the problem. Technically speaking, someone would only be my "bride" for a day at the most. It's the whole girlfriend-fiancee-wife thing that takes working on. In essence, the before and after, not the pomp and circumstance that occurs when someone is a hypothetical bride or groom.

Of course, grandma and her friends just luuuurve weddings, and would be happy if I scooped up the first JP that happened by so long as it guarantees them a large smorgasboard, open bar, and the possibility of taking home the centerpiece at the end of the evening. In which case "I hear you're having trouble finding a bride" makes perfect sense.

Okay, I think I'm done now.

*alter kaker- Yiddish equivalent of "old fart"

**yenta- busybody, often nosing into people's business. Think Joan Rivers.

Happy happy!

Happy birthday to griffen!

Big congratulations to penmage on getting married today!

woot!

Happy happy!

Happy birthday to griffen!

Big congratulations to penmage on getting married today!

woot!