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Multipost...
Today at work...
Client: Before we go to day program, is there time for me to have breakfast?
Me: Sure, we've got about half an hour...
(Client starts making himself a PB&J sandwich. Have I mentioned he's allergic to peanuts? Now, by aIlergic, I mean he'll go into anaphylactic shock. By anaphylactic shock, I mean his throat will seal up in a matter of seconds and he'll suffocate and die, since he doesn't have an epi-pen. I walk back into the kitchen just as he's about to bite in...)
Me: Umm... Client? Aren't you allergic to peanuts? That's what your Mom and your doctor told us, and that kind of allergy can kill you...
Client: (puts down sandwich) um... Idunno...
Me: Do you have PB&J often?
Client: Nope, never had it before.
Me: *yoink* Stick to the jelly, thanks.
Somehow I think "Death of client due to eeeebil sammich fixins" would look bad on my resume.
Thus endeth minipost number one.
Here beginneth minipost number two.
FOX News talking head: Ha haha! You crazy liberals! The US Armed Forces think they may have found a mobile bioweapons lab, so there!
Me, feeling rather cynical about the lack of bioweaponage found thus far: "By 'mobile bioweapons lab,' do they mean an empty tractor trailer?"
Daniel, my uber-conservative 16 year-old brother: "Well yeah, an empty tractor trailer with some old egg salad sandwiches in the back, y'know."
Dad: "Hey, those things can be lethal..."
Me: "Well yeah, but do you have any idea how hard it is to weaponize egg salad? the bread usually turns to mush before you can get it into the slingshot..."
Client: Before we go to day program, is there time for me to have breakfast?
Me: Sure, we've got about half an hour...
(Client starts making himself a PB&J sandwich. Have I mentioned he's allergic to peanuts? Now, by aIlergic, I mean he'll go into anaphylactic shock. By anaphylactic shock, I mean his throat will seal up in a matter of seconds and he'll suffocate and die, since he doesn't have an epi-pen. I walk back into the kitchen just as he's about to bite in...)
Me: Umm... Client? Aren't you allergic to peanuts? That's what your Mom and your doctor told us, and that kind of allergy can kill you...
Client: (puts down sandwich) um... Idunno...
Me: Do you have PB&J often?
Client: Nope, never had it before.
Me: *yoink* Stick to the jelly, thanks.
Somehow I think "Death of client due to eeeebil sammich fixins" would look bad on my resume.
Thus endeth minipost number one.
Here beginneth minipost number two.
FOX News talking head: Ha haha! You crazy liberals! The US Armed Forces think they may have found a mobile bioweapons lab, so there!
Me, feeling rather cynical about the lack of bioweaponage found thus far: "By 'mobile bioweapons lab,' do they mean an empty tractor trailer?"
Daniel, my uber-conservative 16 year-old brother: "Well yeah, an empty tractor trailer with some old egg salad sandwiches in the back, y'know."
Dad: "Hey, those things can be lethal..."
Me: "Well yeah, but do you have any idea how hard it is to weaponize egg salad? the bread usually turns to mush before you can get it into the slingshot..."